Drew's wildest dreams

Only my faith remains..

2007-06-14T20:48:00.000+08:00

Can you imagine the thoughts Simon Peter when he denied Christ 3 times?

According to Matt 26: 69-75;

1st denial, "I do not know what you are saying.",

2nd denial,"I do not know this Man!"

3rd denial, with curse and swearing, "I do not know this Man!"

But wait, didn't Peter said that he will never made to stumble?(Matt 26:33) He was so sure of himself that he wouldn't fall. He's over confident that he'll stood by the Lord.

He even mentions that in Luke 22:33 that he would rather die than deny Christ.

Isn't he like us? We told our leaders, "we'll behind you all the way." Then we went MIA when trouble hit us..

Experience can be a good teachers to us, but don't let us stumble because of that. I rather myself be humbled before the Lord than waver when the body of Christ needs me.

Among the 12 apostles, Simon is the only person who went close enough to see Jesus' trial.

Among the 12 apostles, Simon is the only person who dare to walk on water.

Among the 12 apostles, Simon is always trying to answer the questions.

Among the 12 apostles, he's always the most spiritual.

He's always the most hungry for the spiritual stuff among the 12 apostles.

But yet Simon Peter is the one whom always speaks the wrong things(Matt 16:22-23), been rebuked the most by Jesus Himself. Yet each time we see Simon Peter humbled before the Lord.

Though he may not understand fully what He had taught him, but after Jesus has risen from the dead and asked Simon Peter 3 times, "Do you love Me? Do you love Me even if you died the same way I died?"

His ego is gone, his pride is gone. His whole world is shaken. His confidence in himself destroyed. Everything he thought he once had were totally shaken by that 3 denials he thought he won't made, even to his death. Only his faith remains..

Guys... How much we can relate to this ordinary man? Whom he became the first pope/bishop according to the Catholic Church. Whom preached the first sermon. Whom witness his wife's crucifixion, and his faith was so strong he told her, "Remember the Lord!" before she died?

If God can use such a normal and imperfect person like him so greatly.. How much more can He use us? It's not only up to us to do the job God called us to do. The Holy Spirit will aid us!

I urge you to remember this, "Even if the entire world came down crushing on me, even if I lose everything, my faith remains."

"Nothing else is up to my name, only my faith remains.."

"Shavonne, I know what to do, if you're reading this, I'm doing fine, enjoy your trip..I'll be fine.. Sorry for making you worry over nothing.."

My relationship with shavonne

2007-06-10T22:02:00.000+08:00

Shavonne's leaving to indo for a few days tomorrow, so I think it's good to make things clear about my relationship with her.

To make you understand, let's imagine this story for a while..

Imagine you have a younger sister in your family. But your family was so poor that your parents had to sell away your sister...

Then 12 years later, you found out where your sister's adopted family are and you found back your sister!

That's how I felt after I got to know shavonne better. Do keep that in mind that this friendship is really birthed out from prayer.

I've been praying for a close-strong-bonding friendship on and off for 2-3 years now, ever since I've became a Christian, cause I don't feel loved in my family.

And it just so that time is so perfect on our side, I wasn't in my good spirits just when I got to know shavonne slightly better. I could still remembered that I really poured out my feelings to her when my grandfather passed away.

I think that's where I really see a sister in her. She was listening. Just listening. All I needed back then was just a listener. So I think since then, I told myself to be there for her if she wants me too.

So yea, we really went through alot together. There were a few times I was really furious at her. But I told myself this, "Come on lah, she's my sister, I should be more loving and understanding towards her."

It has been 6 amazing months of journey.. I'll remember and cherish this beautiful friendship we built. ;)

Think about it... I hope I cleared your doubts..

John 14:14

2007-06-07T23:01:00.000+08:00

"If you ask anything in My name, I will do it." ~ Jesus in John 14:14

No, I'm not talking about spiritual things here. I'm talking on the realm of the natural.

Jesus mentions here that if you ask anything in His name, He'll do it for us, out of love.

In John 13:35, Christ mentions that people will know we're Christians by loving people.

But what I'm trying to say here is, how many people or friends are you going to promise? Can you keep it?

So far for me, I've promised one person with this promise, and it's really hard to keep it, of course it's shavonne. =p

I think I didn't really break it, right? I mean, I've really tried my best of my ability to aid her, to be an armour bearer for her, etc etc etc.

It's really, really hard to find someone to get yourself involved this promise, let alone fulfill it. I'm truly blessed for the past 6 months.

I've found the real meaning of friendship, the price of it, the motivation of it. Love as your intention constantly in a friendship is NEVER easy, especially when both of you are sleepy and had a long day, and terrible mood swings..

I've finally understood some of the biblical friendships like David and Jonathan or Paul and Timothy..

I am speechless, it is so amazing that I couldn't believe how blessed I am..

Knowing shavonne at such a level now is so amazing that as though I've found back my sister after went missing for 17 years...

Emerge, Shavonne

2007-06-05T14:39:00.000+08:00

Emerge is finally over! 9 sessions, been through all of them is hard enough, let alone serving in the mist of it.

Overall it was awesome, but somewhat I was expecting alot more. I still think last year's emerge is the best to me. I'm not saying Emerge is not good, but I'm expecting something more. lol

You can really see the serving side of the church during this emerge. It's really amazing how much they're willing to sacrifice!!

I've lost my temper a few times during emerge, cause was frustrated over a few little things. But I wanna thank Shavonne for changing my character for the better for the past 6 months..

She forces me to seek perfection on character building and I'm appreciative of what she's doing. ;)

Shavonne, thanks again.. haha..

I must say that I almost always listen to her immediately.. Whether I liked it or not.. No matter how mad I am.. She's the only one on earth so far that have such great influence over me.. haha

You guys know I'm in Strikeforce, right? Whether I see SF members serving Boon in such a great way, I stopped and thought to myself.. Is there anyone who is willing stood by my side?

At first, I thought no one.. But due to recent events, God shown me that person, and that is Shavonne.. I'm really surpised when God shown me the answer..

I knew she's my confidante, my best friend, my sister, but I didn't expect her to move to visit me even though I'm a little troubled..

That's what are friends for, guys! That's what are friends are for...

What would I do without my cute, little princess Shavonne?

Ladies and gentlemen, I've just found the true meaning of friendship through these 6 months.. All these years, I've been searching for a true friend ALL MY LIFE and now she's finally here.. I'm so thankful... I really don't know what to say in order to thank you, Shavonne... ;)

Shavonne...oh shavonne..

2007-05-30T01:04:00.000+08:00

Happy 17th birthday shavonne! Looking how we know one another is a miracle!! Thinking back, I can't help but to think that this kind of bonding friendship is truly blessed by the Lord.

So...

Happy 17th birthday, wishing you that you won't have enough hands to carry your birthday gifts back home!

I'm really fortune to know you as a friend and thanks for been there for me. No words or actions can express how grateful I am to you...

You pick me up when I fall down.. You have been there for me when I don't know who to trust..

Thank you for loving me..

Commitment

2007-05-27T23:44:00.000+08:00

Thinking back... I kinda focused on the wrong stuff since the beginning of the year. I was too involved in my thoughts of having "her" as my gf back then... Even when I'm in a vow!

It's really silly to think all of that nonsense in the mist of all this. I know this isn't the right season for this yet. So I decided to "strengthen" that vow I've made.

If you guys realised back then, I used to wear a ring on my right hand for the kick of it... I was thinking.. since I can be so distracted about BGR sometimes, why not I wear that ring on my right ring finger to remind myself I'm in a vow?

Sounds silly, but I'm going to do it, as long as it can helps me to focus more unto the Lord. I'm even planning to get a good sliver ring when I get slightly rich..

So, if you guys read this entry and know what's going on, please don't go tease me about who's that special gal, ok?

And please don't make any silly comments on any female friends and guess. I rather you make fun of me than an innocent party.

Later all..

Action speaks louder than words..

2007-05-23T23:47:00.000+08:00

The close friendship with Ericka, Lynde & Rose can be seen clearly. Their actions shows it all.

I'm really shocked when Rose actually cried when she saw those photos in a photo album Lynde & Ericka gave her. That shows how close they are...

As for me.. Looking back 5 months ago... It has been crazy. I didn't expect to find a sister in her after adding her msn.

Man, I love msn.. Back then, I was reached out from msn. Now I've found my best friend and sister through msn...again. Interesting!

I didn't expect us to be so close in just 5 short months!

I really enjoyed fellowshipping with Shavonne today. Even though we didn't talked much today cause both of us are really tired.. But I really enjoyed Shavonne's presence..

I can simply keep quiet and still enjoy just been with her. I felt I've understand her much better today. And I felt that we're much closer than before.

I'm really blessed. She's like one of the few people who can really read my mind like a open book...

I think that's what friendship all about. A friendship which the foundation which built on truth; totally honest with one another.

What really hurts you the most?

2007-05-21T00:49:00.000+08:00

If you know the answer to that question, you can save quite alot of headache..

If only the burdens are totally transfered to me..

Alas...

Alas...

Hai..

Things will definitely go for the better

2007-05-18T11:37:00.001+08:00

Yep. I choose not to worry. God will help me. And I will be able to do far greater things.

1 prayer and all these problems will go away...

Yep. A prayer that change a nation. Change my life. Change her life. Change everyone's lives.

Amen.

Why?

2007-05-16T21:58:00.000+08:00

Why can't I just shut up and listen? Now I've made things worse.

Behold! The beauty has arrived!

2007-05-15T16:09:00.000+08:00

There are so many bad things that is happening to me right now that I can hardly laugh at it now.

But in the midst of all that, I'm still alive. Hence I'll get stronger in the Lord anyways. So, I'm not going to blog how sad or how pitiful I am in life, sorry to burst your bubbles. Instead, I'm going post something different.

Behold! The beauty has arrived! Nope, I've not found that special person yet, and that will remain my status 'single' for a very long time. Long enough for some of you to start a blissed family.

Anyways, I think I've got the 'Luke rocks' & 'Shavonne is cute' viruses. I've fallen in love with Sony Ericsson phones.

Luke has always been a fan of Sony Ercisson, and so is Shavonne. Well, they can make a good couple, but the only problem is the generation gap..

Ok, a joke, let's move on.. ahaha. Anyway, Luke rocks!

I'm thinking of getting either W850i or K800i.

One is for a music-freak.. The other is a photos freak.

I'm both... How ah??

I know Shavonne would take K800i...

I know Luke will ask me to get the P series of the Sony Ericsson.

Anyways, I also got no money. And NS can't use camera phones.

Sian..

Funeral for a friend

2007-05-13T20:17:00.000+08:00

No. Don't get me wrong. No one passed away.

Just that I liked to joked to Shavonne that should I die, she must attend my funeral.

Then just a thought came... What if it does happens? Ah... interesting, ain't it? 1 less trouble-maker in this land, some of you might think. Ahaha!

Alot of thoughts came in when I thought about this matter. Supposely I "died" of old age... That means it's really really old.

Then when I go to heaven, then I shall meet Jesus and God, of course... Conversation goes like this...

Jesus: My son, I've been waiting for you...

me: Really?

Jesus: Not really, see this device? This is the portable time machine. I can bring you to your past or your future at any given time. Wanna try?

me: Erm, no thanks, Lord..

God: My son, let's see your funeral.

me: ok..

Then there opens a small portion of heaven, revealing what's going on in my "funeral".

Ok.. There are bound to be mourning.. Unless they are really drunk in the Spirit... Which I'm not looking forward towards that. .

I "saw" my wife crying(hey, I'm prophesying, alright?), along with my sons/daughters.

I saw a group of people. Ah.. the people of Strikeforce.. My family. They've come.

I suppose Nick would say something like, "Man, this guy always like to crap with me, and serve along with us logistics. With him gone, it's hard to replace someone close like him."

Alvin would probably go, "This guy probably laughs almost everything.. I bet he's laughing at us in heaven now."

Actually, I don't know what would be the thoughts of the Strikeforce members, cause I don't know some of them well. lol. So let's move on..

Let's see..

Peiyu.. ah yes.. Her. I think she would probably say something close to this, "He survived NS, just as I expected. I'm glad he came to my SoT graduation(prophesying again), and helped me from time to time."

Ying Ying would probably go, "Wah, he really done alot in my spiritual life, though always suan me one, but I really appreciate everything he has done in my life."

Jia Ying will probably go, "When I told him he'll grow stronger in the Lord before he went to N318, he really did! And everything he does, is out of love for the people."(Prophesying yet again)

I dunno what the rest like think of me like the other alvin, jabez, timothy, gary, izbella,minyee, qinghui, marc, keith(both of them), samantha, lili, haze, and alot more.. And i think most of the N318 too. Ahaha.

But since I'm at it.. I'm really interested what Shavonne got to say about my "death." Naturally there will be mourning and all that nonsense(duh, it's a funeral!)

But again, I'm still curious about what she has to say about it..

I hope one of those lines would be, "If not for him, I would not have fulfilled my visions. Thank God for that!"

That is my role for an armour bearer.

PS... This is not a hint that I'll end my life. I'm just bored and this is an interesting topic to ponder about.

Yea.. lol

Don't worry guys, I'll cya around. ;)

meh.. I really have no life.. Prophesying about my funeral. ahaha!

Which way to go?

2007-05-12T00:42:00.000+08:00

Yesterday has got to be one of the sickest, mind-blowing, amazing, craziest, wildest & emotional days of my life ever. period.

Ministry the entire day... CG on the evening. Sounds easy? Not at all. I was so tired that I actually slept most of the time when we aren't "needed" on the car ride,

And I was so mad at my contact head that I actually yelled over the phone. Come to think of it, it was both of us fault, but I was really dead tired, and confused, hence I lost my cool.

It's been a while since I yelled at someone.. It kinda felt good but that's another story.

I was in my low spirits in the entire day since then even though my contact head pretended nothing has happened after he apologised. Then I had to rush for cg, cause I was seriously late.

I seriously hope that people in my cg really understand my situation. SF really needs people right now. I can say this is the breakthrough for SF this year. I want to be a part of this legacy.

No doubt CG is really important, but how often can we look back, remembering how different we played a part as a ministry, as a family, as a church, to serve God in such a relational way to the culture?

I seriously hope that Ericka( do I get her name right?) will understand what I'm going through. Yes, I know my attitude isn't good at all... But I'm seriously stressed up. I hope you'll really understand.

So... yea..

But I really learnt alot for the past few days. I've came to realised who are my real friends are.

The results are really shocking! Some I thought they'll stand by me never really did that. Those I had least impressions with stood by me.

Of course they are some who are obviously stood by my side like Shavonne, Christina, alvin, etc etc.

But it's really a shocker to realised that some I thought who will stood by me aren't willing to help me at all. Nil. Zero! Praise God for revealing who are the ones who will stand by me through my darkest hours.

Drained.. tired..almost dead.. but most interesting!

2007-05-09T08:29:00.000+08:00

I admit that I was really moody last night. I was really tired. I don't know what kept me going last night.

Sometimes I have the "child-like" faith to run away. Praise God I always endure! ahaha.

I realised this year I stumbled more than all of Christian life added altogether so far! That means only 1 thing. I'm a serious threat to satan.

I really want to thank 4 people for yesterday; Shavonne, Kai Li, Diana & Hohaa.

Though I hardly knew Hohaa right the start, but he's a nice person to hang out with. He's not your typical rocker that goes, "Kill ya if you don't listen to my music!", but he's a pretty laid-back person, easy to relate and hang out with(as long as he don't hang me with a rope..)

But most importantly, I want to thank him for having so much faith in me by agreeing to helping me on something. Thanks bro!

Diana... Oh diana... This isn't the same diana from secondary school. In fact, i knew this person from F4 MIRC 4-5 years ago? And I get to meet her for the first time yesterday.

She always said she's ugly and always describe herself horribly. But she's quite good-looking! I know who to look out for when my friends need a stable gf.... But anyways, though she kinda rant alot about her family problems, we had good time chatting together.

Kai Li. Hmm. She's beginning to sound like peiyu for some reasons. Prehaps I just missed her discipleship.. But she's always has been interested to understand the logistics' lives. She took time to understand us, talk to us, that kind of stuff.. I appreciate that.

Finally... Shavonne! I've really got nothing to say about her. She's the best! I really believed this is the result of a prayer that I've been praying on & off for 2 years now.

Last night I was ranting like a mad kid, but she actually listened. Both of us has been in low spirits for days now but she actually listened and tried to comforted me.

Many people has been searching for a friend who will actually take time to bond a strong friendship.

I'm proud to say that Shavonne has always stood by me through my darkest hours besides God. The feeling like the church has always stood by Sun, no matter what. I believed with all my heart that this friendship is truly blessed by the Lord.

Amazing..

Thanks Shavonne.. owe you one.. ;)

To you..

2007-05-08T12:35:00.000+08:00

A song for you..

Mr Big's "To be with you"

To be with you

Hold on little girl
Show me what he's doone to you
Stand up little girl
A broken heart can't be that bad
When it's through, it's through
Fate will twist the both of you
So come on baby come on over
Let me be the one to show you

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you

Build up your confidence
So you can be on top for once
wake up who cares about
Little boys that talk too much
I seen it all go down
Your game of love was all rained out
So come on baby, come on over
Let me be the one to hold you

[Chorus]

Why be alone when we can be together baby
You can make my life worthwhile
And I can make you start to smile

P.S. Just ignore the first sentence of the last paragraph.

Take care!

Why all this happening now?

2007-05-08T10:14:00.000+08:00

I won't disclose what happened. Don't ask me any of this. I don't want anyone to know right now. Too personal...

Why all these happening so fast now? I can't bear to see all these events unfold all at the same time.

It really pains me to see all these happened...

Isn't she suffered enough already?!

God....why? Why on her and not me?!

What on earth are we busy for?

2007-05-07T19:16:00.000+08:00

"What on earth are we busy for?"

"Is it worth it?"

"Is it worth of my time?"

"What are my intentions for doing these matters? Fame? Wealth? Or something even better?"

Sometimes we have to go back to our quiet place and ask ourselves these questions. I truly believe that none of us want to be so busy, but we don't know why are doing all these for.

Serving.

Have you ever thought that serving people isn't no easy task? We have to understand that in order to serve, we have to imagine that every single task we do, we serve as though we're serving Jesus Christ Himself.

Think about it.

Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?

2007-05-06T00:55:00.000+08:00

I'm really very tired... I need to be more sharp.

I'm on the verge of burning out, but yet I'm trying to press on for God.

I need training for this kind of stuff.

My mind's in a hurricane right now.

Sometimes I really feel like giving up altogether, and just run away like a little kid away from problems. Free of troubles.

It has been a crazy ride. I can't take this anymore.

God, I really need Your strength right now. It has been so hard.. Time really flies...

Ghosh, how can I give up over such a little setback? It's sooo laughable..

Press on, that's the only way.

Either press on or die...

I don't wanna die now, so i choose to press on.

Why?

2007-05-04T12:32:00.000+08:00

I really don't know what The Lord is trying to show me. I understand why God answers my prayers selectively. I know God is preparing me for NS..

But what's up with this emotional roller coaster? It has been driving me crazy. I can't take this anymore. Soon my house will be at hougang chalet.. See me there... LOL!

But seriously, if this goes on, either I'll go crazy or I'll grow stronger with God. I'll pick the latter. I don't mind going though all these crazy emotions right now..

But I hope you friends, cell group members and strikeforce members will understand what I'm going through. I'm not in my best moods recently. I have been quite moody. When I don't get the results I want, I tend to get angry.

I'm really excited, depressed, furious & confused over this chain of events. Things is happening so fast right now. I have been doing so many crazy stuff this year that I even doubted myself.

But doubt alone is not a lack of faith. Thomas has lots of doubts, according to the Bible. But he made an effort to find an answer for that doubt; and move on.

I have no idea what will happen next. All I know is... I need to be more spiritual, hungry for the Lord now...

Prehaps this is the role of an armour bearer.

Why? I don't know. All I know that this year is going to be one of the most interesting chapter of my life yet!

The worst thing for me now is to die... So pray that I won't die in NS. But even if I do so... I'll shoot my CO first..

Take cover

2007-05-03T00:31:00.000+08:00

I've been drained emotionally and physically for the past few weeks. I'm really tired, and depressed. But I must press on. There has been so many testimonials, especially from Ling Ling's & Esther's from SoT. And I can relate to this song..

Mr Big's "Take Cover"

Words in my mouth

Someone told me to say

They go unspoken

My mind gets in the way

I hold my tongue

Save my, save my soul

True to myself

And stay gold

Sometimes you gotta pull the plug

Somewhere a little place to crawl

Love me for who i am

It doesn't have to be this hard

For an ordinary man

I wanna take cover, take cover

From you, wake me when it's over

Take cover, i wanna take cover

From you

Sold all my dreams

Watched them all disappear

I've spilled my blood

No one seems to care

Sometimes you gotta pull the plug

Somewhere a little place to crawl

Love me for who i am

How long do i have to go to make you

Understand

Lay up your treasures in Heaven.

2007-05-02T10:04:00.000+08:00

That's what the entire church been doing for the past 6 months. We've grown stronger, most of us has risen up to the next level.

I believe with all my heart that one of the greatest joy of life is to be able to see how God groom and guide your close friends/members and fulfilling His purpose through their lives.

Well.. for me. It has been trying season for the past 6 months. But I've been truly blessed. For 2 years now, I've been praying about something, which is happening right now. The last BF, the family was blessed with a car.

For this BF, it's my turn to be blessed. Not financially, but things of my heart's desires are coming to pass. Though these visions & events often brought me doubt, confusion & even not wanting to get it, but it has been worthwhile.

The timing can't be more perfect as well, I'm actually enjoying myself before I go NS. lol

I learnt a lot from Strikeforce, shavonne, pei yu, samantha, tizane, jia ying, kee liang, boss.. The list goes on.. It's as though God is uploading information my brain, in high speed cable connection.

Seriously.. I don't what to say.

I don't really believed in close bonding of friendship until I know shavonne. It has been like, what? 5 amazing months of friendship and it's getting stronger each day. It has been a pleasure to know you, really. You really added in colours in my life. =p

Pray for me..

2007-05-01T23:20:00.000+08:00

It's too personal to type this here. But I need all the prayers NOW. Just pray that healing on someone will come in the name of Jesus.

I appreciate it if you stay with me in prayer..

Thanks...

Doubt cleared?

2007-04-30T20:14:00.000+08:00

"You have alot of faith in that, Drew. I know I won't be able to fulfill that vow if I were you."

I almost "cried" when I heard that. Encouraging yes, but I stumbled alot over this matter. But I've learnt from this brother so much for the past few days. So many attractive and godly gals around me... ahahaha. But sad lah. But proverbs 3:5-6 will assure me that I'll not be left out.

Updates.. Just now when I was doing my QT, when I thanked God for that sharing from this brother, the presence of God was strong.. Wow. That means God acknowledges this vow after all. It has been worthwhile then! A-m-a-z-i-n-g!!!!!

Recently, I've been seeing visions that is soo unreal to me during worship in service. It seems so far away that it can't be done... But that is one of my heart's desires.

"Many are called, few are chosen." (Matt 22:14). I want to be part of the 'chosen' list. I really want to do something different in this generation. I really want to be like Simon Peter, to "walk on water." (matt 14:22-33). I can't wait to see events like the book of acts happening in the Arab world!

I shall doubt no more, for I know I'm born for this moment, this hour. Every step and thought I'm doing right now, I'm craving the history books for tomorrow.

Awesome....

The power of influence

2007-04-30T10:06:00.000+08:00

Thanks to someone.... I think I'm falling for sony ericsson phones, going for branded stuff. Help me! I'm turning over to the dark side...... I'm renewing my mind on how to spend money. ahaha.

That's what you get when you slept too much after a big massive headache.. Oh... I'm "addicted to that rush"...

Later kids!

What is a ministry?

2007-04-29T19:02:00.000+08:00

I'm in a mood of shooting people today, but this is nothing personal. Ahaha.

Bumped into Qiu ping in the mrt today while on the way going to shopping in orchard; she strike me with this... "Strikeforce isn't really a ministry."

I agree with with her for a while.. but after a few seconds of thoughts and a little sharing with Shavonne, I totally disagree. Not that I'm double-minded, but I'm looking things at a different way.

What is a ministry? For me.. Serving people, even the unchurched though our gifts & talents. We're commanded to multiply our talents. (Matt 25:14-30)

But that's only the basics. For me, it's also to understand, honour, glorify, strengthen and obey your leader's visions!

God demands full obedience, so if God place a leader in our mist, shouldn't we obey his visions also?!

Our leader may not be right all the time, but we obey and acknowledge his position God placed in to watch and guide over us.

I'm getting annoyed that CGLs mentioning to me that Strikeforce isn't a ministry(sorry Jia Ying...), but we're fulfilling the culture mandate.

We're like Simon Peter walking on water. We may stumble a little bit, but God will guide us and lead us to victory. We're doing something different; but we're not disobeying God.

I'm getting frustrated about people saying about what ministry can do for them. Hello? You're supposed to serve, not to be served. If Jesus came to earth to be the greatest servant among all, then what on earth are you complaining? Would you rather serve in hell? I think I don't wanna. =P

Understand, obey, strengthen, glorify and protect your leader's visions. That is my definition for ministry.

Armour-bearer

2007-04-29T00:31:00.000+08:00

2007.

A new way to serve in the ministry; understanding the team and visions better.

A new cg.

A new close friend.

New visions.

Leadership roles arises.

But most importantly... armour-bearer role arises!!!

It's really amazing... I really don't know how to put it.

I've always wanted to be in some sort of leadership role for almost a year now. But sometimes when I have an opportunity comes, I simply shy away unless I'm really confronted. Sometimes it's annoying to have this mindset.

But there's a role I need to undertake for now. Armour bearer! I'm really lazy to explain what's the role for it right now, but basically it's to protect, honour, and to serve your leader's visions and his flock.

It's not as easy as you think. Try apply to be a CO during a war. That's how hard it is! Any problems, they come to you besides the leader.

I really want to get more involved in my cg. Though I'm called to be in Strikeforce, but I want to show that even in the mist of that, I can be an armour bearer for the cg. I want to be there for cg, I want to help out as often as possible even though my main focus is in Strikeforce.

Strikeforce. I really got nothing to say about them. They are an awesome team! They have been there for me in one of my darkest hour. They love to joke, friendly but yet serious when we need to be. Be an armour-bearer for this ministry is destined to be! No doubt about it!

This year is really different for me cause been an armour bearer is new for me and I've to serve in so many aspects. I believe I'm called to serve Shavonne in this aspect as well. It's amazing... 3 years ago, Shannen done that to me, and I'm doing this favour to another person, a close friend. Someone I can really relate to. And the timing for this chain of events couldn't be more perfect.
I don't know how to explain it(I'm sleepy) but it has been a privilege to help this sister of Christ.

Armour bearer... gotta love this role.

Remember the relationship of Solid Snake and Otacon in MSG2? Otacon chose to help Solid Snake because they share the same visions..

Think about it, "Snake"! Who is your "Otacon"?

Luke 17: 7- 10

2007-04-27T12:30:00.000+08:00

Hey guys. I thought this is pretty interesting. This is pretty useful for Christians. hehe.

Okay, on a serious note, this is pretty useful for cell group helpers, amour bearers & anyone who simply wants to serve God and people.

When I read this few verses on NKJV, I didn't understand it.. So I decided to read on another version of the Bible... The NCV( New Century Version). It's so much clearer now!

So this topic I'm covering will be named.. "Serving God with an intention as a privilege"

According to NCV, in Luke 17: 7 - 10;

Jesus speaking;

7 "Suppose one of you has been plowing the ground or caring for the sheep. When the servant comes in from working in the field, would you say, 'Come in and sit down to eat?'

8 No, you would say to him, 'Prepare something for me to eat. Then get yourself ready and serve me. After I finish eating and drinking, you can eat.'

9 The servant does not get any special thanks for doing what his master commanded.

10 It is the same with you. When you have done everything you are told to do, you should have say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done the work we should do.' "

Now, think about it... How often we demand from God whenever we thought we have done so much for Him. If God has this mindset, then we're all in deep trouble. For the wages of sin is dead, so God would have us died by then. Would you rather die than live? =p

I'm not saying that we must be have the mindset that we aren't unworthy of God's love and we musn't serve Him. Then you're not getting the big picture. Jesus taught us this so that we won't warrant unnecessary self-esteem and full of ourselves when we serve Him.

Remember, obedience is a duty. Just like in an army, if you don't obey your CO(commanding officer) in a war/battle, they had a right to kill you. God don't really want your 'burnt offerings', He wants your complete obedience from all of us here.

God called us to be a witness & servant. Not to be a judge.

Think about it!

What can I do for my cg?

2007-04-25T16:00:00.000+08:00

You guys know... I've just moved to a new cg; it happens that some don't really welcome me... erm i mean... my jokes.

Nah, but anyway.. I've done so much for SF.. So I should focus a little bit more on cg, so that I'll be telling them though my calling is in SF, but my heart is still with cg. ;) But I don't know what to do. Time is not a factor for me. For you guys who don't know... I'm going NS on july 13, infantry... 2nd sir.

And sometimes I had to miss cgm just for ministry. So.. what can I do? After some discussions with myself, I decided to bless the cg with gifts should I have the cash. Don't have cash also can, credit card also can..

Hello God, can You hear me? I need money. Trillions of it. I don't mind having trillions of 1 cents, that's enough already.

Mission control.. earth to heaven.

I need to understand my cgm more.

For those of you cell group members who are reading this.. you can make a wishlist you really want, and I can consider getting 1 of them. Please... No N95 or something crazy stuff like this. Please spare a thought for me...

Updates... Maybe I'll bless some of my close friends as well.. Shavonne has got to be first in that list. She mentions what she really wants in her list once. I'll see what I can do... God, can You rain down coins?

The power of releasing

2007-04-24T09:29:00.000+08:00

It has been a challenge for me to open up my feelings to someone, perhaps because I didn't "train" myself to do that when I was younger.

Emotion dead, I would say. ahaha. Sometimes I would just move on by serving without caring about my emotions system. Till I can't handle it anymore, then I will feel a little moody, troubled, annoyed, frustrated, disappointed & stuff. I "like" to keep things to myself. And sometimes it affects other people cause they knew I'm troubled and they didn't know what to do. I didn't believed in opening up to someone back then.

Things really moved fast for the past few days, so I hardly have any time to rest at all. And I'm not prepared at all. Then I fell into slight depression, wondering why I'm doing all this when the rest minding their own businesses when they can do a little bit more..

I didn't intent to tell anyone else this in detail actually. I don't see the point at first... until I can't take it anymore. The burdens are so heavy that I can feel the weight of it... daily. And it really bothered me so much that I doubt about my own abilities. I couldn't move on. Cause I was focusing on my strength, too disappointed, and I couldn't see and follow my leader's vision.

I was so wore out that I question myself, is it really worth it? Why am I going through all this right now? Am I at fault? I failed to see that God is stretching me to the max...until Shavonne rebuked, counseled & encouraged me to move on. I was reminded of Simon Peter in matt 14:28-32 again.

It's really amazing. I've been amazed by this verse for a few days now and it's now happening to me. God is indeed a interesting Person to be with.

But seriously, without Shavonne's listening ear, I might have give up altogether in ministry now. No words can express how grateful I am to her.

Don't cry

2007-04-23T10:31:00.000+08:00

Whenever I sang the lyrics of this awesome wonderful song... I can't help but to think about the events of the TM gal(the previous entry I talked about), and events up to now. It fits... like a puzzle!

I'm not saying I'm popular with gals or anything, but still this is a wonderful song.

Don't Cry

Talk to me softly
There's something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've
I've been there before
Somethin's changin' inside you
And don't you know

Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

Give me a whisper
And give me a sigh
Give me a kiss before you
tell me goodbye
Don't you take it so hard now
And please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinkin' of you
And the times we had...baby

And don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

And please remember that I never lied
And please remember
how I felt inside now honey
You gotta make it your own way
But you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light now baby

And don't you cry tonight
An don't you cry tonight
An don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry tonight
Baby maybe someday
Don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry
Tonight

The video rocks too.. And this song is pretty old for some of you. Released in sept 17, 1991. Some of you might be like 1 year old when this song was popular.. ahaha.

A friend long forgotten...

2007-04-22T23:08:00.000+08:00

Inspired by Shavonne's blog, I also once had a great friend from opposite sex. The only difference is that we didn't really start due to a big fat misunderstanding...

I really don't get it. How can she bear this grudge for almost 2 years now? From best friends to best strangers isn't really the most exciting way to end a relationship/friendship. I rather you hate me than pretending not to know me. Do you know how much pain you're inflicting? Not because I once loved you, but because we really understood and stood by one another.

People from secondary school friends will probably know who I'm talking about; cause she's pretending not to know them as well. So... if you happened to know who she is, don't tell others or ask her. Otherwise I'll write your name on my death note....

What's really saddening me is.. without this misunderstanding, she could have studied in L.A or somewhere in states right now. She have sacrificed so much just for this misunderstanding. I don't get why she can't move on and be friends with me again? It's not as if I've blamed you. It's really no one's fault!

Where did I get my support from?

2007-04-22T11:01:00.000+08:00

That's what I wondered before I went for serving for ministry yesterday. Besides God, of course...

No, it wasn't my parents, they are the ones who knew me the least.

Not my cell group, sure, they're friendly and stuff, but I don't really open up with them except jokes.

Not church friends generally cause I don't know some of them well.

Not even Shavonne, cause all of us got of fair share of burdens. Besides, talking to her alone always made me feel better.

So... where did I get my support from?

Strikeforce.

Why? I dunno actually. I guess because we... as a company of jokers, we jokers can often relate and joke our problems out so easily that we forgotten what difficulties we had. It's that amazing! I don't even need to share my problems at all.

For the past few weeks, I really saw a different side of this ministry. Serving is no simple feat. If you don't go all out, you aren't serving. Do you ever see Jesus served people half-hearted? Never!

Besides.. this ministry is really fulfilling the culture mandate. Can't help but to think I'm so blessed to be part of this beautiful... wonderful... Strikeforce.

Questions..

2007-04-19T22:00:00.000+08:00

What does it takes to make a team?

What does it takes to love people, no matter what they have done to you?

What does it takes to follow a dream that it seems so far away?

What does it takes to follow a leader, even to the ends of the earth?

What does it takes to be a good soldier of Christ?

What does it takes to give up everything for God?

What does it takes to bear someone's burdens close to your heart, knowing that it might not even do anything in your life?

What does it takes to educate the Muslims that Jesus is the truth, the way and the life? And without Him, they shall not know God. (No offensive intended.)

What does it take to know that we can really be assured that God will find us if one of us are lost, He'll leave the reminding flock, He won't stop searching till He had found us, back to His path?

Tonight I felt the most painful emotions I've felt in my life. Imagine Jesus bore all that sin and died one of the most terrifying death mankind has ever known. The intense pain of mentally and physically must have been unimaginable....

Vows 101, ministry & burdens..

2007-04-18T21:13:00.000+08:00

I've sorted so many things today..... ok.... only 2. But they are important!

Ministry and burdens.

But first... Let's talk about vows.

Samantha's blog talks about vow gonna end soon.

A cgm's vow is going to end soon...

"Her"(no, I don't like her anymore, but I can't type out her name, can't I?) vow is ending soon also.

Someone is looking for a bf..

Everyone's looking for a partner except me!

No, I'm not complaining.... But will you please stop reminding me about bgr?! ahaha...

But it's an odd feeling to see so many people looking for a partner and I'm listening to "Don't Cry" from Guns & Roses. I really feel like crying now. lol

Ok, on a serious note.

Rallen asked me an very important question today.

"Why do you follow Boon's vision?"

I've said this a few times already, but if you fail to see your leader's visions, it's hard to follow and support your leader... I choose to follow him cause that's where I want to be in future. Bold, fearless, making a legacy of my own. That's what I want to continue to live on.

Now burdens...

I finally knew why I'm burdened for the past few days. As far as I know, godly friendships & worldly friendships are 2 totally different matters. Worldly friendships usually don't stand by you when you need help.

Godly friendships are awesomely different! When your bond with someone is close, sometimes you can really feel the burden for the person. Out of care and love for that friendship, you're actually willing to pay the price to feel the pain and carry the burden of whatever that person is handling or feeling.

I thought it was wrong to feel burdened, but nah. Burdened for ministry, cg, friendship is perfectly fine, as long as you give it all to Christ. And don't let it crush you. lol

Awesome... and... feeling sleepy now.

Later kids.

Term of my "egoistic"

2007-04-16T11:38:00.000+08:00

It's really amazing how gals think alike. It's in their blood, i think. Either that or I've drive them crazy with my jokes.

For the past few days now, kai li and shavonne has been talking about egoistic people and stuff. I thought for a while.... Am I one? Ladies and gentlemen, I'm guilty as charged.

I think mine is somewhat more like inward ego rather than outward. Especially when I'm control or in been in a position to command/order. I hate to admit I'm wrong sometimes. It did happened a few times, so I have to watch myself over this aspect.

I really need more great, godly friends like kai li and shavonne. It's really amazing. I don't know them that long. About 3 months and 5 months respectively. And both of them know everything in my life than with my families & friends combined altogether.

I really appreciate their love and energy spent on this friendship. Cause the 3 of us were so busy, but yet we still find time for one another, just to fellowship! (prov. 25:11-12, prov. 27:6, prov. 27:9, prov. 27:17, 1 samuel 20:17, ****1 samuel 23:16****) They don't have to do anything, but they chose this path.

PS.

A ministry is a job given from God. It's work. Where's the salary? You'll get your rewards in Heaven.... Unless you don't intent to go there.

Burdened... it's all worth it.

2007-04-14T10:20:00.000+08:00

For the past few weeks, I've been really stretched to the max. I've been burdened, but I don't really know the reason. Now I do...

One of my deepest desires of my life is where I can get involved to somebody's lives (selectively... :P), when I can listen, advice & help.

It's really coming to pass, seeing where some close friends really looked upon me like a brother, they simply trusts me and poured out their troubles & doubts upon me.

They came from all aspects of my life; ministry, zone, cg, friends from ITE College East. I've been burdened by their difficulties, no doubt, but I'm fulfilling my purpose currently! And that's what really matters!

I really wanna thank God that though this is my extremely trying year for me, but this has got to be simply one of the best year I've ever lived. Now that's what I called being a Christian!

Shavonne...

2007-04-11T01:04:00.000+08:00

She's a good friend and sister!

I think she really deserves some credit for encouraging and helping me to empowered in the ministry.

But seriously, she really helps me a lot for the past few days, so I really appreciate everything that you do, like from taking time to listen to me, advising and be there for me.

It's been really encouraging. I don't really know what to do without you. I could have just give up. It's been a bumpy road for me. I really don't know what to say, but just "thank you".

So.... Thank you! lol

But really.... she's really like a sister to me. :p

Is it really worth it?

2007-04-10T15:51:00.000+08:00

"Away with you, Satan! For it is written, 'You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve.' " ~Matt 4:10

I would say this verse not only encourages you not to be double-minded, but also choose your decisions carefully; and when you do, go all out with it.

I just read lynde's latest entry, and it really made me wonder is it worth it? To miss cell group meetings, outings & sometimes even service? For ministry.

Then I asked myself is... "Will God be please for what am I doing?"

I thought for a while...

Then I remembered a pwnage verse that goes, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" (matt 14:31). From matt 14:22-33, it talks about Simon Peter taking a step of faith to walk on water with Christ. But as soon as he realised about what he was doing, he stumbles and fall... And cried, "Lord, help me!"

Peter was willing to do something different, though he stumbles, at least he took a step of faith and walked out of that boat.

It is happening to me now, right here right now. Sure, I can help other people, but if I don't help myself and bear fruits, what good use do I do to the children of God or myself? For faith without works is dead.

I am trying to make a difference here. But I'll not try. I'll train myself to strive. I must move on. There are so many distractions around this world *coughsgalscoughs* but I need to focus on God. That season isn't here yet.

I have not opened my business yet. I have not entered SoT yet. I have not go to taiwan emerge yet. I have not open up to N318 yet.

All these things shall come to pass, one way or another.

Yes, it is worth it!

PS... My fingernails are getting long again. Need to cut them.... Lest I get ear-wrecking from someone......

Afraid... Burdened...

2007-04-10T00:09:00.000+08:00

There's so many things running through my mind now. CG, ministry, spiritual life, responsibilities of different aspects of life, visions, doubt, the list goes on.

I'm just so tired... I need a rest, but I musn't give up now, there's much more to do!

I've felt so burdened like never before, but I know God will never leave or forsake me. And He's gonna make the best of these experiences of my life yet, I just knew it.

But I'm really glad I'm surrounded with a bunch of totally "can-do" with "give me more mountains" people attitude.

I'm really glad there are 2 cg members who are willing to do anything to create a stronger bond within the cg.

And a team whom always reaching out for the impossible dreams, always working out their best and focus on Jesus.

And a brother whom always encouraged me to go to the next level.

A family of Christ whom I can always turn back with where whenever I see them, I always see "brothers & sisters" in them (matt 12:46-50, mark 3:31-35). Always feel better when I see, chat or work with them.

An understanding CGL whom I can relate to.

An ex-cg member whom I looked upon her like a sister always never fails to encourage me whenever I smsed her.

Another sister of Christ always stood by me, encouraging me through my darkest hours.

God that will do anything to find me.

What more can I say? Why should I be afraid now?

Thoughts of the day.

2007-04-08T22:15:00.000+08:00

This week for Easter I've learnt, experienced and share so many people that it's unbelievable.

I don't know how to start, so instead of telling what's been going on for the past week, I'm gonna talk about one aspect of my life; my character.

I seriously thought that I'm a pretty shy person, but it appears not to be. Why? After a chat with Shavonne, she "proclaims" that I'm not shy. I somehow agree, but I kinda "doubt" her. lol

So I decide to put myself to a test. I kinda thought to myself... How? God made use of something interesting.

There was a 21th birthday party on saturday night which I totally forgotten. I only remembered after Cecilia smsed me, "oi, you coming or not? Samantha's birthday party is today leh!" Then I really went, "Oh my God" so loud that some of the people in the carnival looked at me in Hall 7. Service 2 just ended and I couldn't go to service 3 cause I've promised her to go to her birthday party ages ago.

In a hurry, I went to her place and I didn't know anyone else except birthday girl... and Cecilia. Cecilia also brought her bf, so I thought to myself, "Since I don't know anyone else, why not I make friend with Cecilia's bf?"

So I chatted with him and we really clicked. After that day, I was like... "Okay, I don't think I'm that shy..."

Then today.. I went for the 10am service. It appears that no one came for the service from my cg, so I was like "sian"...

So I got a seat for myself and I decided to talk to someone who was booking seats for his cg. We chatted about 15 mins, on and off.... until he mentions he's a cell group leader...

Spooky.

Looks like I'm dead wrong. I'm not shy at all. All I need to do is turn on my "talking mode" on. Looks like Shavonne's right. Looks like I have mind-control friend.... Help.. lol

The offical 2007 wishlist.

2007-04-04T12:15:00.000+08:00

This is the real one; in order(not in the realm of spiritual)

(1) Be more involved in the ministry.
(2) Get a job that pays super high and flexible "work-table".
(3) Be able to help out at taiwan emerge in july.
(4) N95
(5) PS3
(6) Really bless xiao mei during her birthday.
(7) No more stupid dreams!!!!
(8)Hope shavonne will like the birthday gift I bought for her.
(9) Hope shavonne will remembers my birthday and give me a birthday present(s).

What a day!

2007-03-31T05:12:00.000+08:00

It's 5:23am now. Woah. I don't think I wanna sleep now. Yesterday was awesome! Helping out was never so fun before!

Went warehouse at 7. Waited until 7:23pm then someone familiar comes in, then another one at 8. Then another one at 8:30pm, and he has the keys. At least he bought dinner cum supper for us!

Helped out till like 12am, and we're done. So we head to the studios and a few of Strikeforcers are over there.

Then Alvin wanna watch a movie, so I tagged along with 2 other Strikeforce members. Watched "Shooter" at PS @ 1:40am. That movie was awesome! One of the best action movie I've seen in years!

Movie ends at 3:55am and I took a cab home. ;)

PS..

I really need a job now. I really want to serve God at Taiwan Emerge.... HELP!!!!!

Matthew 8:18-22; The cost of following Jesus.

2007-03-30T16:17:00.000+08:00

Read this part of the bible a few hours ago, and it really sank into my heart. The cost of following Christ is great, but allowing yourself been discipled by the Father is much greater!

Sometimes, in order to serve Him, you need to cast away your time, energy, hobbies, money, sometimes even sleeping.

Helping out in any ministry isn't easy. Serving with perfection is really hard. There's a saying in Strikeforce that goes, "If you make the same mistake twice, you're a foolish man."

We really need to be sharp, been allowing to be discipled by leaders whom God place above us. We really need to be humble.

I really learnt alot through this wonderful ministry. Besides service, it's through this ministry I really learnt how to love and serve people. Also striving to do my best at all time.

Awesome...

I made it!

2007-03-30T00:38:00.000+08:00

Today has got to be one of the most awesome, yet confused and rushing day of my life. I had a little "war" with my cell group helper just to get to help out in Strikeforce today. I can really see the vision of Strikeforce. Even if I had to miss cell group meeting once in a while. It's worth it. Strikeforce is like family to me.

Went to ritz carlton to help out in the afternoon; the gig was awesome! Even Boss was impressed. Then we went to warehouse to move the UDMs then to studio to put the toms.

Then we got into a cab with 2 other Strikeforce members, and arrived at expo at 7:44pm. And we actually took our sweet time to walk to Hall 8. LOL! That's the best part.

Prayer meeting was awesome, it's always great to be in the house of God, whether you are tired, and regardless of whatever you're feeling, you'll surely feel refreshing after a prayer meeting.

Then I saw Kai Li while waiting for the train. And I was right about gals. They're so scary. Ok, she's my contact head for logistics, but she scares me today. She asked me whom I have good impressions on the sisters on Strikeforce and kinda made me reveal one of my secret.

Friendly though, but she's really scary.

A date with Drew barrymore.

2007-03-28T22:08:00.000+08:00

No, not really. ahaha. But watched 'music & lyrics' with shavonne earlier. Thought it would be very typical love story, but it's actually one of the best movies I've seen in this year!

And it really spices up the character with those silly jokes thrown in, something I don't expect from this movie.

Some of the songs are really nice; oh, and the song "pop, there goes my heart", the introduction of the movie, really reminds me of the pop 80's; except those lame dancing.

Then went to BS; learnt a few things there.

Yeah, that's about it.

I really should hunt some birthday gifts right now... There are like 4 birthdays in the next 3 months. And 3 of them are 21. I hate the number '21' now. lol

Buying gifts for gals.

2007-03-28T10:46:00.000+08:00

I was bored, and I decided to ask some random questions to some of my female friends.

I asked 10 of them this question; "If I were to get you a necklace for your birthday, will you get the wrong idea?"

Here are some of the replies;

"No, but my bf is gonna kill you."

"No, cause I know you well enough."

"Are you hinting something, drew?" <----- Ok, never mind... danger zone, worse still, I did tried to woo her once. Woah, die!

"Drew, I think you need to relax lor."

"Wow, really you getting one for me?!"

"erm, I dunno?"

So the bottom line, there are certain risks that you will give the wrong signal if you get a necklace for any female friend's birthday. Unless that person knows you really well.

But again, that bf threat thingy isn't necessary....

...Gals... They're scary!!

C&C 3!

2007-03-28T00:23:00.000+08:00

Today I really spent alot of money today. 103 dollars! On a sound card and C&C 3!

I was a little disappointed when ah chow and I were at funan IT mall, and didn't see any C&C 3, but when I saw it on other stores, I was excited! So excited that I almost screamed; as though I have gotten 1 billion dollars in cash.

Here are the photos:

Sound card.

C&C 3.

I'm gonna post later my thoughts about buying gifts for gals....

Oh God!

2007-03-27T13:12:00.000+08:00

That was my cry all day yesterday. What really happened?

I met up with my xiao mei at somerset mrt and she's really testing my patience. I didn't really show it, but she's really killing me.

It was fruitful day, cause we really fellowshipped a bit but her character is really getting on my nerves.

But somehow, I really feel burdened for her. I really want to bring her to church but if I don't do it soon, she'll drive me to my grave.

Her birthday is coming soon (since it's this year..).. And boy! she got big expensive taste! Like me! Woe to be her future bf. Or me for now, since she demands a present this year.

If plans goes well, I'll be going out everyday till end of this week.

Today, meet friend at city hall.
Tomorrow, movies, date with Drew Barrymore @ music & lyrics.
Thursday, prayer meeting.
friday, something on.. Can't remember what...
weekends, church services and commitments.

Pray for me.

The church.

2007-03-26T12:29:00.000+08:00

Whenever I see everyone's blogs from church, I saw a samiliar pattern. Each and everyone of us has our doubts & disappointments. But God is much bigger than our problems.

Be it luke from sf, or samantha, or jieyin, everyone of us including ourselves are very tired because EVERYONE of us in the church are really doing our parts; be it ministry, or cg... In short, every single one of us are rising up to another level.

It's really amazing how God uses us as individuals, and also as a church. No doubt we'll be more tired, more busy, but it's all about serving God, loving people and glorify Him through our good works.

As for me, I'm also rising up. It's really scary...

I still have no idea what one of this "vision" God spoke to me but it's slowly revealed to me right now. I'm not really a out-spoken person but people still looked me out for advices, something I would find it impossible 3 years ago.

May sound nothing to you, but it's a miracle.

I see the vision, I believed this vision and I'm going to pursue it, no matter what.

later friends.

I'm not backsliding!

2007-03-22T10:58:00.000+08:00

Since I've got lynde's blog now, I hope this news will spread like wild fire within the cell group.

Thanks for your concern, but I'm not backsliding lah! I'm also not putting my ministry first instead of cg.

I understand I got into this cg about 2 weeks ago, and I need to bond together with you awesome people; but gigs don't wait for people.

Okay, maybe that's a bad example, but sometimes we have to miss cg once in a while in order to rise up on certain occasions of life. I know now I've got to be flexible.

I really appreciate your concern though, but again, I know what I'm doing. ;)

Cheers!

I'm off to bury the patriots for good!

2007-03-20T23:02:00.000+08:00

Went with Ah Chow to sim lim square today. Oh my God. Behold! The beauty has arrived! No, I'm not falling in love again, but something more exciting(ok, maybe not).

Okay, not a good picture, but she's beautiful, isn't she? I know it's already out in Singapore. But I really went nuts when i saw it. Played Ridge Racer 7. That game sucked. What a rushed product. I thought I was playing sega saturn!!! I thought we went back to 1991.

It's really weird though, why isn't Motorstorm out in singapore yet? That will blow people's mind with it's crash physicals "stunts". Realistic!!!

It's only S$799. I was expecting like 2K, but 799 is a dirt-cheap. Seems like my plan has failed again. Won't get this during NS. I'll get this 1 to 2 months from now. Woo!

Gotta get Resistance: Fall Of Man and motorstorm!!!!!

And of course, MGS4... Will the Patriots fall? Stay tuned kids.

Love ya all.

PS. Pray for me, seems like I'm getting a fever. maybe too much heat generated from the high end CPU's in Sim lim square. Or is it the awesome powers of PS3? ahaha.

It's time to move on!

2007-03-20T02:23:00.000+08:00

Like I said, it was really hard not to love "her". God is a joker. Really, He is. He knows I'll struggle over this alot, and He gives trials and trials, never-ending actually... Ever since beginning I began to commit myself to church till now.

But it's all worth it. The moment I thought and acted about not to think about "her" completely, visions and purpose starts flooding in.

Pastor Phil spoke a word on sunday service that I felt with all my heart it's for Shavonne and me.

There's more things I need to rise up in Strikeforce. Suddenly there is so many things I have to rise up and do it, otherwise it'll all come down crashing on me....

I'm really speechless... I'm really in awe of what is God trying to show me here. There's so much information that goes on in my head and it doesn't makes sense to me.

It's almost as though I'm going to the future.

I know what season I am. I'm still in the season of changing. There's so many areas I need to be humble in.

Excited, thrilled. Worse thing that can ever happen to me is I drop dead now. Heck, God will raise me from the dead.

Just a few "wants" in my recent list:

In order:

(1) About "her", hope she'll get a godly, loving bf after her vow.

(2) Get more involved in logistic in Strikeforce, even if I have to go make-up cell group. Thing is... How to explain to Kee Liang?

(3) Survive in NS.

That's all.

"Semper Fi"

Later kids.

Pastor Phil Pringle services.

2007-03-18T22:06:00.000+08:00

When I finally realised that some of my cell group members are actually coming for the sunday service, it was too late. I had to book for shavonne's and tizane's cell groups. It's also kinda refreshing to sit with shavonne's cell group. lol

Anyways I got really excited when Pastor Phil mentions something like this, "Some of you desire to be a worship leader in church, while some of you desire to be a businessman."

I believe with all my heart that sentence is preferring to shavonne & me. It's as though God used Pastor Phil Pringle to encourage us, urging us not to give up... If this is the desire we want, we shall get it in Jesus' name.

But besides that... I also want to take this time to thank shavonne and adeline for advising me on affairs of the heart. I won't go to details. But after a few short but serious consideration; I want to forget "her" completely. No strings or drumsticks attached. Thanks gals!

I want to talk more today, but it's confidental. lol

It has been a super long day.

Later kids!

Singapore Drumfest 2007

2007-03-16T12:09:00.000+08:00

Responds so far is pretty poor. It's really true then. That people are not willing to try to change or something new. It's really disheartening to hear that cause I thought Singaporeans ought to be more adventurous, cause honestly speaking; Singapore is quite a dull place to live in.

Well, we still about 1 and a half month to june 9-10th, so I wouldn't worry much for now. Though we really need to buck up to make this thing into a big event.

"Faithfully keeping their laws"

2007-03-14T16:46:00.000+08:00

Just watched 300. It does deliver with a blast, but for a historical fan, I'm utterly disappointed. Not because of it's inaccurate story-telling, they've done their best, but the gore. The gore for this movie is hopeless low.

Sure, it's sure mind-blowing, but I expect this movie to be more bloody... We don't need another Alexander the great the movie blood content. I want gore like the saw series, with tons of blood run down like water.

For the glory of Spartans, I'm utterly disappointed. This is a M18 movie and it shows like a NC16 movie.. Sad. Terribly sad. I was expecting the gore of like "Passion of the Christ", that kind of content, but no...

But bad news aside, it does deliver the message of the Spartans. Their glory lives still today. Freedom...

What does a free man do?

"Stranger, report this word, we pray, to the Spartans,
that lying Here in this spot we remain, faithfully keeping their laws."

300 men vs 250,000 slaves isn't a easy task....

I shall report this word, oh yes I'll pray. ahaha, not to the old gods, but God.

Later kids.

P.S..

More blood, and this movie will be perfect.

I hope Metal Gear movie will be much better than this.

Singapore Drumfest 2007!

2007-03-12T23:26:00.000+08:00

Very first in Asia, this is the mother of all Asia events. Okay, maybe not, but you get my point. Singapore is going to have it's own Drumfest at Suntec from june 9th to 10th!

Drummers like tony royster, jojo mayer, rodney holmes, derek roddy, aaron spears, grant collins, benny greb, luis conte, nate morton and many more will be here. There will be a drum challenge for those who wants to compete one another!

What are you waiting for? Christmas? It'll be over by then!

For more information, go to http://singaporedrumfest.com and www.myspace.com/sgdrumfest

Thank you.

Spread the word!

May the force be with the drummers!

Loyalty to the end!

2007-03-12T19:23:00.000+08:00

"I'm doing this to be loyal to myself." ~ Big Boss on MPO.

Seems like I got extremely inspired by Metal Gear series... Seems like I'm a huge fan of Naked Snake AKA Big Boss....

I've really learnt alot from this fictional character. In a sense, he had left a great legacy behind. Though Outer Heaven was more like a terrorist act, but his motives are clear; he's trying to live a life what the boss has told him, "One has to die and one has to live as a warrior. To fight the endless battle." He had a goal, to create a mercenary army that they will always to fight with, "jobs" for soldiers, and a vision that was so much bigger than himself. I want that kind of life!

No, I'm not going to join the army and be the best solider the world can ever have. The Spartans had done that already. It's about living a life that much bigger than myself. Living a vision worth dying for. I'm so amazed what God has shown me for the past year. The church, Strikeforce, they are always the pioneers of making impossible possible.

Strikeforce especially.. I've seen how it grew so fast, it is really making a huge impact in society.

Okay... Due to Maybelline's latest comment, I'm not in love with huiyee. I mean come on, all I did is misread that sms and you guys went crazy over this? You guys should be reporters.

It's true I'm in love but it's not huiyee. Please don't anyhow spread ok? Should you guys need to spread something, stay tuned, the next entry I'll post, you guys spread to mars I also don't care, alright?

P.S.... Yeah guys, laugh all you want, especially those who knew who "she" is...

Definely a fine lady, with fine dressing & looks with an awesome character. Hot!

Tic Tick Toe's Guy Talks is a killer!

2007-03-11T13:30:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a nightmare to me.

For those of you who don't know, I'm in this Tic Tick Toe where CHC organizes this "talk" how to behave like a man. It's like... a talk about how to attract ladies in the positive way.

I still remembered when Jia Ying announced about this, I didn't wanna go not cause I've no interest in ladies, but I'm not planning to get a gf for a very long time. Alvin kinda "encouraged" me to go with him, so I agree.

The talk was really a confrontation of my character. It really blew my mind as I know I'm not really a person of good character. Really changed my thinking about relationships around me, not just bgr and marriage.

I think my love & respect for "her" also increased tremendously. To me, "she" is really of a good character, good-looking, good style of dressing, have the fear of the Lord, the list goes on and on.

I got moved to the new cg too. The new cg is pretty cool except that the cg usually stations around at bravo terrance..

Celebrated wan ling's birthday at bugis. Had dinner there.Though we had a short time for the last meeting, we had great fellowship nonetheless. I think of all the members of N352 & W207, I think I'm gonna miss peiyu the most.

Cause she has been encouraging me all this while, there are some parts of last year I really wanted to give up, but when I began to share with her, she encourages me and offers advices. There are some part I almost felt like crying, cause I've indeed found a true friend & sister in this cg.

Tears aside, there's a funny conversation that happened last night. No, sms.

Yirong: How's your cg?
Me: Great? Yours? But I'm worried about Huiyee.
Yirong: Is she in your cg?
Me: Please don't talk about "her" lah. I don't wanna think about her...
Yirong: Haha. I wasn't! I was asking u whether Huiyee is in ur cg! Haha! Hor! U muz be thinkin of her!
Me: *owned* Oh! Huiyee isn't in neither of our cg...
Yirong: Hor! But I still don't know when who "she" is..

Well, I think I really need *NOT* to think about "her".

2 persons to reach out for....

2007-03-09T15:22:00.000+08:00

Yeah. I just got this burden to bear... Been praying about Miss Karen Ng, I think the Holy Spirit is guiding me to invite her to church. But I dunno where to find her...

One more person is my God-mei, Jia Yan. Though I knew her less than a year actually, but we have a pretty strong friendship. She's quite annoying at times no doubt, but hey, she's my xiao mei what. It's time to do something for her. It's time to bring her to church.

300

2007-03-09T10:33:00.000+08:00

I got very excited since last year when I heard they're going to make a movie after the battle of Thermopylae. Why? It's one of the biggest battle that actually changed the way we looked at freedom, honour/honor & changed Ancient Greece. It also helped to shape the Roman Empire a few generations later.

I did my research--- Should Sparta be in our modern time era. They will be even better than US navy seals or any other army. Why? They started as young as 7 years of age and up to 30 years, where they retire. And they only choose the healthy ones; which reminds me of NS.... lol

But what made them so formidable is their formation. Their legion is actually extremely small in size. Back in ancient times; a legion is like a squad, a team. It's about 3,000. But the Sparta, they are only 300 in strength!!! Almost 1/10 of it! And can you imagine on the battle of thermopylae, they are only 300 of them and they had to break off to even little men in the legions! They stand in perfect straight lines, I think 5 by 6. With 4 rows. Holding short spears with their shields, the 2nd and 3rd rows put their spears on their comrades shoulders, making that formation as a mobile fortress of the day. Then the commander of the legion will give command to move forward towards the enemy to impale them with their spears.

The battlefield is the main key as well. It's a extremely narrow valley where the Sparta are defending.

Here are some links how the battle was fought.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=R6BDHGa4CEY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2IaHcshiwA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mzmzxpsabU

I haven't watch 300 yet.... :S

Interesting fact about me...

2007-03-07T00:26:00.000+08:00

Almost every crush or someone I liked in church almost always turns out to be close or good friends with me now.

Leaving a legacy, having faith, leaving traces of life.

2007-03-04T12:12:00.000+08:00

For those of you are fans of Metal Gear Solid Fans, I advise you not to read this entry if you have not complete MGS2.

Snake:	There's no such thing in the world as absolute reality.
	Most of what they call real is actually fiction.
	What you think you see is only as real as your brain tells you it is.
Raiden:	What am I supposed to believe in?
	What am I going to leave behind when I'm through?
Snake:	We can tell other people about -- having faith.
	What we had faith in.
	What we found important enough to fight for.
	It's not whether you were right or wrong,
	but how much faith you were willing to have, that decides the future.
	The Patriots are a kind of ongoing fiction too, come to think of it....
Raiden:	...
Snake:	Listen,
	don't obsess over words so much.
	Find the meaning behind the words, then decide.
	You can find your own name.
	And your own future...
Raiden:	Decide for myself...?
Snake:	And whatever you choose will be you.
Raiden:	I don't know if I can...
Snake:	I know you didn't have much in terms of choices this time.
	But everything you felt, thought about during this mission is yours.
	And what you decide to do with them is your choice...
Raiden:	You mean start over?
Snake:	Yeah, a clean slate. A new name, new memories.
	Choose your own legacy.
	It's for you to decide.
	It's up to you.

Pastor Tan preached about how to apply the culture mandate effectively. It really blew my mind as some doubts have really cleared up through that sermon. It's amazing how accurate God answers when He used men of God to minister to us, members.

Just like Solidus Snake said to Raiden that he wants to leave a legacy of his own, a history-maker, pursuing the wrong dreams will cause us to destruction. We have to be bold, fearless, trusting the Lord that He'll guide and protect the dreams He has shown us; but we need to be patient, wait for His divine timing.

After the presentation, though I don't really like to talk in front of crowds/strangers, I think I like to talk. Be it presentation, advising or just talk nonsense, when I get to my "talking mode", I can not be stopped!

I think I wanna join the Debate for the Emerge 2007, but I need 2 other people.

It's really amazing how Pastor Kong mentions about common grace among movies, music, everywhere in the pop-culture. But I didn't expect to find common grace in a video game; MGS2.

"Life isn't just about passing on your genes.
We can leave behind much more than just DNA.
Through speech, music, literature and movies...
what we've seen, heard, felt
...anger, joy and sorrow...
these are the things I will pass on.

That's what I live for.
We need to pass the torch,
and let our children read our messy and sad history by its light.
We have all the magic of the digital age to do that with.

The human race will probably come to an end some time,
and new species may rule over this planet.
Earth may not be forever,
but we still have the responsibility to leave what traces of life we can.

Building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same thing."
Solid Snake-- Metal Gear Solid 2

Read the first 2 paragraphs, it's like preaching the culture mandate right? Amazing!

Fortune: What is your main objective then?

Solidus Snake: A list of name of The Patriots!

Great presentation!

2007-03-01T22:40:00.000+08:00

Today was a crazy day. Last night I got yanked at by 2 classmates when I was praying and their tone were cranky; made me a little mad.

Then out of sudden, today morning, when we're preparing the presentation, both of them behaved as though nothing has happened. I do realised I stammer alittle in my usual conversations, anyone who even know me alittle realises that.

Due to that, I'm actually quite nervous about presenting the presentation. Cause my classmates somewhat think I'll be a good choice to presenting it. There are 2 other people, but on my part, the stress was really on me as I'm on the ending part.

Before we went to present, I prayed for a few seconds.

The beginning was dull, i think, looking at my teachers expression. Mid was alright, my classmate actually made lame actions and jokes that made the teachers laughed, which was good. It actually helped not to get nervous.

I had to present about recommendations and conclusion for the robolion. I was pretty nervous back then, but when i remembered how Pastor A.R. Bernard and Pastor Mark Conner preached the gospel, I begin to tell myself to calm down.

As I began to talked about it, the more confident I was, though some part I realised I didn't made any sense, but the teachers were very much impressed. It's really what Pastor Philp said, "When someone mentions I preached that part was good, I remembered I didn't say that. It was right directly off the Holy Spirit." God was indeed there, helping me.

Though it's was really weird that I quote something what I learnt in church.I talked about time and energy management, which Pastor Mark Conner taught, in the conclusion part .

Amazing!

The teachers were so impressed that they are going to make our report, presentation and everything else as the role model for the next few terms. Awesome!

Some of us questioned me how could I presented so well.. Even before I could say anything; someone else whom is not a Christian said, "This guy goes to church!"

Thank You Jesus! Without You, I would not have done it!

P.S. I also wanna thank Shavonne for listening to my rant when my classmates yanked at me.

Cheers!

Got my NAFA results.

2007-02-26T20:35:00.000+08:00

I got sliver, first time for the past 6 to 7 years. It's amazing. I clocked my 2.4 in 11 mins 37 seconds.

I think I really wanna train my 2.4km. I want to clock 9 mins sharp or faster before I enter NS.

God, somewhat I still missed her... How ah?

I don't get some of my friends, really. He's been complaining about his gf been too bitchy and stuff. Yes, I agree each of us need our own personal space; but a bg relationship in it's mature form is to bond together as 1 mind, 1 body. What I mean is their thoughts, their behaviour. Nothing more, nothing less. When he mentions about "we won't be together forever what." I feel sorry for her. Really, I do!

Time really flies. It's been 2 years since I've been in this school. It's been 2 years plus since I've been in church. I've made alot of friends for the last 2-3 years. Most of these beautiful friendships have been bonded through this time in ITE Simei and in church. I noticed about what really amazing about CHC is not only about the teachings, but Pastor Kong always tried to challenge us with our mindset.

I really wonder what will I be like when I'm in NS. Will I still excited to go to church every weekend? We shall see. lol

Please God, no more girls temptation, it's hard not to think about it. lol

PS3, 60GB model at S$799?

2007-02-25T18:15:00.000+08:00

Man, that's kinda cheap. I'm expecting like $1500, that kind of range. Most probably I'll get PS3 early 08 or late 2007; since it's expected to ship in here in Singapore around march 23, 2007.

Excited! Can't wait to get my hands on MGS4: Guns Of The Patriots & Resident Evil 5.

"Metal Gear? It's already active!"

P.S.

Metal Gear movie is in the making right now.

What more can a MGS series fan want? Besides earning more money, that is.

Thrilled!

The Pursuit Of Happyness

2007-02-24T11:39:00.000+08:00

Watched midnight movie today, "The Pursuit Of Happyness". I learnt quite alot of things in that movie. Though slow-moving; positive thinking & pursuit towards a goal with a can-do & never die attitude will bring you through anything life throws against you.

The touch of the Holy Spirit is so strong in some parts of the movie; and I actually teared towards the end of the movie.

You can really feel Christopher Gardner's anger, frustation & excitment in that movie. It's either that or it's the works of the Holy Spirit. A-m-a-z-i-n-g!

If Christopher Gardener can be sucessful with just sheer willpower; how much more can we achieve as children of the living God?!

Think about it!

There will be someday I'll be clapping my hands in front of my company, and call that part of my life, "Happyness". Pursue happiness, not get happiness.

A nightmare? I think so...

2007-02-23T17:17:00.000+08:00

It was kinda interesting though. It's really amazing how dreams can be so real.

I dreamt someone really close led astrayed. I think I liked her or something, in that dreams( i think.) Nope, not that "her" but another one. I don't like her in real life but I do know her.(are you lost?)

I dreamt she was led astrayed and it hurt me so much that I cried and beg her to wake up to her senses. Boy oh boy, the feeling was so real.

Is God trying to show or prepare me something?

I certainly hope it won't be like Boss' and Snake's relationship in MGS3. That'd sucked!

Relationships reflections.

2007-02-22T10:24:00.000+08:00

I think I can safely say that if some of my friends don't pursue some bgr, i think they can quite successful in life.

Hey, I'm not saying that relationships aren't important; but make sure you find the right one! It takes courage to tell someone you like, but it takes more courage to say "Sorry, you aren't the correct right.", when you ought to know that person is not leading the life you supposed to live.

Of course, I'm talking from Christianity's point of view, but put that aside, look around you; I've seen people who are so torn-apart because of relationships they've made in their lives.

It's really amazing how people are willing to exchange their destiny of their life just for a few months of romancing beauty. Sure, it's sweet, but it will only last for a few months!

I guess I got inspired by MGS3(again) where (SPOLIERS) Naked Snake's and Boss' relationship are so close that Snake's destiny's were preverted after Boss' death. And their relationship isn't romance-kind. (END SPOILERS)

It's amazing how much you can learn from video games these days.

But think about it; the relationships around you, friends, families & the special one in your life; do they help or hinder your purpose in your life?

The Boss...

2007-02-20T20:46:00.000+08:00

This is a post about SPOILERS of MGS3: Snake Eater, if you have not complete this game, don't read this. Thank you!

SPOILERS.

MGS3 is a extremely predictable plot until the discovery of The Boss' reason of defection to the Soviet Union. "Loyalty to the end." Loyalty to her country even though it's so unfair to her. She lost her lover, her son(not death though, got seprated), and misunderstood by both countries as a nuclear monster whom unleashed hell.

It's all a stage, a misson from her country that she calls home. Her mission is to be killed by Naked Snake; the main character of the game; in the end, turns into Big Boss, and due to realisation of The Boss' loyalty to the end, he turned evil and created the outer heaven. For more information, please play MGS(Metal Gear Solid) series.

A touching ending, with Big Boss sluating over her grave, with a tear on his face, honouring her. I still remembered it's so touching that I almost teared too.

Awesome!

Those who are interested what I'm talking about; here's a video of the ending.

End SPOILERS

New information & renewal of mind.

2007-02-17T16:57:00.000+08:00

Rev A.R. Bernard mentions about Christ in culture & power in our mind during last august. It was mind-blowing.

But I refresh my mind by not pressing "F5" on my keyboard, but watching it from church website just earlier today.

I thought; "What would be the one of the best way to discpline, teach, empower me to the next level?"

NS.

The one I dread the most but it comes very clearly.

I shared with a friend that I want the toughest training/camp/POW/whatever you guys call I can ever have in NS, so that it can empower me to endure, acknowledge and go through anything cause I've been through the most diffcult time.

To endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ(2 tim 2:3), I have to enter NS. Not really true, but you guys get the point.

Of course 2 years is not really a short period of time, but I'm think I'm going to enjoy it. I'm not a sadist, but I believe God will use this period to mould me in the firey furance.

I'll be like daniel, I won't get burn cause I've God in my life.

New information that goes through my state of mind will bring me success.

Interesting..

2007-02-17T11:11:00.000+08:00

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.8
Mind:	6.7
Body:	6.3
Spirit:	8.8
Friends/Family:	5
Love:	0.8
Finance:	5.8
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Yet another funny incident?

2007-02-12T20:51:00.000+08:00

Yeah.. Happened in school.

One of my friend haven't ordered flowers for his gf yet... So i decided to give him a helping hand. For CHC members, remember the AM debut issue? On page 6, there's a weejustin floral N gift ad.

So I rang Ms Ivy Loh, asked her where to get the flowers and stuff. Then she got very impatient, giving me hint to hurry up to place my order. I got a little pissed, but.. hey.. I'm not getting the flowers for my gf. Otherwise I would just hang up the phone.

It went on for a little 20 mins, placing an order on behalf on my friend. I think she's really nasty.

Isn't there a saying that goes a customer is always right? And I'm just trying to place an order. I'm doing you guys a favour here. I'm giving you 43 more dollars to burn with.

I don't get service these days. Goverment has been encouraging going for the extra mile for service, not going backward to harsh service.

Pissed, but I find it very funny.

Valentine's day as friendship day?

2007-02-12T09:35:00.000+08:00

2 more days to Valentine's day; couples beware. Or guys. Start saving now!

Some of my friends(not giving out names here) thinks that valentine's day can be friendship day. My thoughts? It's almost impossible. Reasons?

People around the world have this mindset including me that valentine's day is a day for couples only. I've proof to back it up of course.

I think this happened about four to five years ago.

I have a friend who always date this girl for valentine's day, without fail, ever since I've know this guy.

He claims that he doesn't like her, nor take her as a potiental gf. He claims valentine's day can be a friendship day.

Guess what happens? Fast forward 2 years down the road, they're one of the most loving couples I've ever personally witnessed in my life.

I think they have been together like 4 years now, and they're still very much in love.

Of course I do hang out with them once in a while, and I always see them together. I'm convinced one of them won't go out unless both of them are free or something like that. They're so loving that sometimes I feel like puking. lol

And boy oh boy, he really spolits her on valentine's day. But she's really an awesome lady, so i think i would do the same if I were to be him.

Moral of the story? Be careful who you date in valentine's day. I dated once on valentine's day and she almost ended up my gf as well. Spooky... The spirit of relationships is really strong on valentine's day.

"I can feel fear in you, Anakin... Turn to the dark side and unleash your POWER!"

Another funny incident ?!

2007-02-11T19:16:00.000+08:00

Yes. Again.... I was going to prayer meeting earlier and I met michael. He's looking for his ex-CGL and she asked michael, "How come I always see you with him one ar?"

Then moments later, they both laughed like crazy...

I hope michael wouldn't say things like, "He's my bf." Please God, no...

But again, knowing michael, he wouldn't be the michael I know if he didn't say things like that.

Later kids.

Funny incident yesterday.

2007-02-11T11:12:00.000+08:00

Went for makeup cell group before service and while waiting, I saw gary & izabella. Gary was talking to izabella over the phone while jiaying called his other phone.

So he passed his phone to me, not knowing it's izabella on the line.

Me: Hello, who's this? Drew here.
Izabella: Izabella. Is this really drew?
Me: erm, yeah?
Izabella: Really meh? You sounded so different!!

Dots...

Then Gary passed the phone to me, with jiaying on the line. I also didn't know.

Me: Hello, who's this?
Jiaying: This... is... jiaying...
Me: Oh.... jiaying ah? (while looking at gary)
Jiaying: Yes, drew, can you guys come down now? It's getting late.
Me: Oh okay, can.

Keith, gary & izbella laughed at me... dots lor.

Thanks gary for telling me he has ORD for 4-5 days now and passed the phone to me, and never tell me it's jiaying.

Dots.

A dark day.

2007-02-09T18:07:00.000+08:00

Today is a stupid day. Came to school, done nothing but use internet on school for a couple of hours; then.. we came to realise that one of our teacher is hospitalized.

Okay, honestly speaking, I've got no love for this teacher. He can't teach, his style of teaching is really boring and I'm almost always late for his lessons. But some of us paid him a visit since he's our teacher.

It's really serious we realised, as he needs to have an operation ASAP, and it'll only happen on monday. I've never see him so depressed before. It's as though I don't know this person anymore.

What a day! What a sad day.

I shall keep him in prayers.

Yet another funny conversation.

2007-02-08T20:52:00.000+08:00

I asked one of my closest friend in school this; "What is the worse thing can happen to a guy in life?"

He gave alot of lame comments like,

"Ugly gf."

"Died when making out." (Really lame)

"Died without having a gf."

I answered, "What about having a gf whose birthday is on feb 29th?"

Friend:"Good what! Can save money."

Me: "Good your head ah, what if you not free on valentine day and on 29th then how?"

Friend: "Drew ah, i think you really need to relax lor. You really dogshit le, you...."

Me: "But really, think lah, if your cass' birthday really on 29th feb and you got to work how?"

Friend: "break lah, break lah!"

Me: "You will one meh?"

Friend: "No lah, I kill myself instead."

Both of us laughed.

But what if this really happens to me? Okay, "her" birthday isn't 29th, but praise God, but what if? I think it's really hard to seek forgiveness. Why? Cause I did think in a lady's "mindset", and I know I won't forgive myself too..

Later kids.

NAFA test a huge success!

2007-02-05T18:23:00.000+08:00

Woke up like 6am, showered and headed to school for NAFA test. Starts at 8am. First station. 2.4Km. OMG was my first respond. I decided to pray and went for it.

Out of 2 to 3 classes, I was ranked 7th. I was shocked! It was the first time I never stopped in 2.4Km and I outran some of my classmates I thought I'll never outrun before.

Some of them were even surpised. All I can say is God is helping me.

Even Daphne commented that i'm a pretty good runner. It's quite something from a spiritual teacher and dragon boat instructor.

I think I think pretty well with the other 4 stations except sit & reach. I excel far what I've expected. I believed all this happened cause I did prayed about it.

Inspired by Shavonne's blog, I kinda thought about my spiritual life and my future. What really excites me? I think I like to talk alot. And I've a sudden interest in E-bay, stock market and business affairs. It's all finances stuff!

I decide to study a diploma of business management after NS & SoT. I think I should try preaching too. I've been helping a few people, Christians and non-believers, I realised I'm a pretty good listener for a guy, and I think this has got to do with my calling. And some of them think I'm a pretty good counsellor. Okay... that's the first. And I like to study chim stuff of Christianity & stuff. Actually other religions too.

And I'm always hyped up with Pastor Ulf Ekman's yelling and screaming during services.

Miss Karen Ng.

2007-02-04T22:30:00.000+08:00

Back in 2002, I've got one of my worse nightmare of my life. I've got one of the best-caring-yet-nastiest math teacher in that year.

I hated math, I still do...but that's another thing.

What I'm trying to say here is... she's a really good teacher. Man... if she's alittle younger, I might even woo her. Ok...maybe not, cause dating a teacher is a big no-no...to me, actually.

I felt in my spirit that I've to pray for her. I guess she's not a Christian, i think?

I saw the apperciation card she gave me before all of us graduated from that school, then I remembered, oh yes! All those extra classes she gave me after lessons which I used to dread.

Hours of hours of hours of math, it's a drag.

But she's a wonderful teacher. A spirit of love, care, hope & joy. She really has faith in me, which I don't. But she has encouraged me nevertheless all the way till I graduated from that school.

man, I really missed her. I dunno why it took so long to remember her, but I really missed the time we talked nonsense for about an hour after school...

Anyone got her number? Yeah, I wanna woo her. ahahah!

I'm thinking of going to HSC just to look for her tomorrow. Should I?

Later kids! And gossip others that I'm going after a teacher.

Challenged... renewal of mind much needed.

2007-02-04T19:21:00.000+08:00

After Pastor Ulf Ekman's conferance services, my train of thoughts simply increases.

Faith increased, no doubt.

About my visions... it's getting more scary. It's definitely much bigger than me now.

It's also getting more confusing actually cause I've just realised I don't really know where to head in my life after NS & SoT.

Fecilica had a conversation with me after last night's service and she seriously asked me that did I considered to go full-time ministry.

I didn't know how to answer her. Really!

Cause I don't know where I'm heading! I felt I need to be prayed for last night for China, but it doesn't makes any sense to me. It doesn't fit to the plans that I've "mapped out" for my life.

Am I holding on to my own dreams instead of God's?

If that is the reason, renewal of mind is needed (romans 12:2).

Btw, an inspiring youtube for all Christians!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lp_9OuOuzic

Train of thoughts....

2007-02-03T11:56:00.000+08:00

As you guys(& girls) know, my grandfather had just passed away and he's in heaven right now.

I thought this over for a while... What have I learnt during the funeral?

Besides I've learnt that my family are jokers no matter what, I found out I've a group of friends whom they really cared for me. Not because they had to, but they want to.

I'm convinced that people will think back what the decreased has done in our lives, be it good or bad.

So... I thought, when I die, what I want people to say in my funeral?

Some of these came to my mind..

"He has encouraged me no matter how hard it was."

"He has really kept his faith and his life really prosper."

"If you can't see God is moving him with His hands, you're truly blind."

"He's blessed to bless others."

"His motive is to love people."

List goes on and on, but you get what I mean. haha

Geroge Lucas also taught me something. Pastor Kong mentions about "common grace" and this is it.

When Anakin Skywalker came to Master Yoda for some "counselling", Yoda said this, "Train yourself.... to let go of everything you fear to lose."

I felt like Anakin right now, but except I won't turn to the dark side. Why?

(1) I have God.
(2) I don't have a pregrant wife.

Later kids.

Photo taking day.

2007-01-31T23:57:00.000+08:00

Cool huh?

BGR conversations.

2007-01-29T23:36:00.000+08:00

Today at the funeral was pretty alright. So I'm gonna talk about a conversation I had with Yirong instead.

Happened on yesterday night, she asked me one question that really challenged me alot.

"Why do you like her in the first place?", She asked.

If I were to say looks aren't important, I'd be lying. Right through the teeth. I actually thought for a while before answering her...truthfully. ahaha.

"Looks and her character.", I replied.

It's no secret that I used to liked Cecilia alot, even she knows that now, and we're pretty good friends. Ever since that rejection, I've been using her as a reference to compare girls. She's the standard in terms of looks and character, the gal I'm looking for, that kind of range.

But this "gal" broke through that standard, and I thought it's just another crush of love, but no!!! It's became love so strong that it sometimes really amaze me. I thought I won't have the courage to love someone so much, but well, love kills.

Seriously, the waiting time is really killing me, and it's really quite frustating sometimes.

But yet it has been amazingly perfect for my plans of life. I can't commit in a relationship right now, due to a vow and really no time for one. Besides, NS is coming and it's gonna slave me in.

But I'm really glad God does gives me an answer nonetheless.

But yeah, I'm truly in love not just of looks but also "her" personality. How I know that? I've been comparing other gals with "her" and i still find "her" da best.

Later kids.

Thanks Strikeforce!

2007-01-28T23:56:00.000+08:00

Yesterday(since it's midnight now) was a day of sheer encouragment. I was at my grandfather's wake the entire day, feeling alittle down cause I was really close to my grandfather. And was alittle bored too.

Then in the afternoon, esther, karen, darryl & michael came and comforted me and we chatted a little and they have to leave. I thought the blessings will end there. But no!!!!

9:20pm, 14 more members of Strikeforce came to the wake. Some of them even came earlier in the afternoon. I was so touched that I actually cried alittle.

Thanks guys, you are really like family to me. I really appericate that you took your time to come down and comfort me. Thanks! No words can express your kind intentions to me. Thanks again!

The joy of the Lord is really my strength!

2007-01-27T22:47:00.000+08:00

Today was a mixture of good and bad day. I woke up early in the morning at 9am only to realised that my grandfather is in serious condition and not doing so good. Cried alittle. Ok, alot, but whatever.

So my family and I rushed to the hospital and visited him. He was dying and I felt in my heart that all the more I musn't miss church.

Service turned out to be awesome, worship was so close towards God. His presence was so strong that I keep on weeping.

It also turns out to be a prayer answered wonderfully before my eyes. I was kinda encouraging one of the zone member to have faith and stand strong in the Lord. I've prayed about this a few times.

So when I saw her went to the altar call, I thought to myself, "It's all worth it!"

Today was day of victory for me despite the loss of my grandfather; whom passed away around 3:30pm, when I was queuing up for service.

Thank You Jesus for Your strength!

School is like a holiday resort.

2007-01-26T18:50:00.000+08:00

Why did I even say that? Did I mention there are tons of hot chicks and handsome guys in school? More than vivocity or orchard road, i think! Didn't really learn anything from school these days, jokes thrown in all over.

This has got to be one of the slackiest years I've had for the last 2 years I've spent in school. Peaceful, beautiful memories, some are shocking, some are pleasant surpise. Made quite a number of close good friends, but boring school life.

Just like Light, I'm a bored student. But should I picked up a Death Note, I think I'll write all the teachers names. They really can't teach. Stop ruining our future; hence kill 'em all!

Later kids, and keep whining about the death note movies.

Craziest, wildest dreams yet?

2007-01-25T17:08:00.000+08:00

I've just got this idea. All of sudden, I'm so excited about property values, and stock market values.

I think should I have the money in future; I'm so wanna invest in some of these. Gamble is one thing, but invest is another.

Also, I'm going to make a point to make someone's day better every single day. No lah, not someone special, just that I really want to be an encourager.

Pray for me!

Time to rob the "evil"!

Wishlist for 2007 continued...

2007-01-22T21:40:00.000+08:00

(1) Know more gals(uhhhhh)
(2)Learn japanese
(3) 2 GB thumbdrive
(4) A good job after graduation, looking for a 5000 pay, any idea where to get it?
(5) PS3 with MGS4
(6) Nokia N95
(7) A cool jacket
(8) Snare drum
~~(9)Hope shavonne will stop been angry right now in Jesus name. Amen!~~
(10) Hope webster will turn into a hamster in Jesus name. Amen!
(11) Cort NZ-1 signature guitar
(12) Ed-hardy t-shirt
(13) Jog 3 rounds around my neighbourhood every single day at night.
(14)Able to jog 5-6 rounds at 15 mins before I enter NS.
(15) Meet up with ex-hai sing catholic classmates/schoolmates before going NS.
(16) Meet and catch up with Yulin before going NS.
(17) Get 500 to 1000 dollars for Chinese New Year? (Is it possible?)
(18) Have a business idea.
(19) Be an encourager, be it with a group of strangers, with friends.
(20) Get "Death Note" from comics connection.
(21) Get all 12-13 Death Note comics.
(22) Get Sarah's number before she goes back to poly or before I graduate.
(23) Get that "gothic gal" number? This needs lots of prayers.
(24) Try not to die in NS.
(25) Know some japanese gals?
(26) A new bag. (Not hangbag ah?!)
(27) A new running/jogging shoes.
(28) Get a jogging partner/know some jogging "freaks" around the neighbour.. *coughDaphnecough*
(29) A cool watch.
(30) Manage my finances well.

Updates for the day before yesterday, yesterday and today

2007-01-22T18:15:00.000+08:00

Last saturday, after church service, i went for ah chow's 21th birthday. We've had alots of fun, and it's really a great time of fellowship among us.

We spent most of the time whacking one another except the birthday boy, it's really odd. The target is safe. lol

After sleeping like 30 mins, I took a cool picture in the morning.

Then soon after that, we all go our separate ways and I reached home, had breakfast, and slept for about 4 hours before going to SF practice. Was pretty tired, but after a while in the practice, can't help but I felt so full of energy because of the cool drum beats. After the practice, headed home and had an early night.

Today I was late for PE and daphne made us ran 2.4 run to prepare us for the upcoming of NAFA test. I ran and it was 13.13 mins. Though i ran the fastest, but I was really tired and I'm not really happy of the results.

Gonna update later.

Happy birthday, Zhou Jie Lun!

2007-01-18T21:22:00.000+08:00

It's his birthday today!

Besides that, today is quite a boring one.

Later kids....

Wishlist's 101 for 2007.

2007-01-16T23:24:00.000+08:00

If you have any ideas, post a comment or something. I'll update it if I find I like it. PS. I posted some just for fun. Let's spot the not!

To continue:

(1) Know more gals(uhhhhh)
(2)Learn japanese
(3) 2 GB thumbdrive
(4) A good job after graduation, looking for a 5000 pay, any idea where to get it?
(5) PS3 with MGS4
(6) Nokia N95
(7) A cool jacket
(8) Snare drum
(9)Hope shavonne will stop been angry right now in Jesus name. Amen!
(10) Hope webster will turn into a hamster in Jesus name. Amen!

That's all I can think of so far. Any ideas yet?

Interesting topic about love.

2007-01-16T07:15:00.000+08:00

I'm a little bored, so I'll comment this from samantha's blog here.

There's alot of levels of love. I've asked alot of opinions about love from all walks of love. Proof here. My nick is Drew1986.

I agree about waiting, if the person is really worth it. I've got rejected a few times before, but that shouldn't stop you from knowing from that person.Once, it's through that rejection i get to know her much better and we have made close contact via msn.

Off-topic, but msn is really an interesting and important tool to maintain strong bonds of friendship.

I also believe in platonic relationships; though we need to observe rules. I'm talking about the guys side.

Always respect the girls. Never demean them as the "weaker" link of the 2 sexes. That's dumb.
Watch your hand. Don't take advantage of her lah!
Be careful when you speak, be as tactful as possible.
Be a good listener; i noticed they liked this point alot!

Later kids.

Interesting & colourful day.

2007-01-15T20:10:00.000+08:00

I was really late for school, was kinda worried how to face Daphne cause I really kena scolded from her after a prayer meeting. And it's really hopelessly late.

I was troubled until I saw a familiar face; Esther. I totally forgot she had to take the same bus as I am when she goes to work. She was my schoolmate back in secondary school. We were enemies for some unknown reasons back then but we've signed with a peace treaty. Victory won for Christ, yeah!

She was late for work, and it's kinda funny. She was nervous and stuff. When I'm convinced I'll be late, I thought, "don't care lah, go and say hello to cecilia, so long never see her liao." So i went over to the work place and say hi to cecilia and chat with her for a while. Then I suddenly realised I've got school, then I dashed off to bus interchange. lol

I was half an hour late for school and daphne didn't say anything. Cool!

Off-topic, but this year's intake is really amazing. A lot of distractions. Lots of lots of lots of lots of really chio gals in this intake. Another reason why I musn't miss school.

Later kids!

Stalker part II, and random thoughts

2007-01-12T19:16:00.000+08:00

I saw her again.. This time on bus 88. On the way to school. Spooky. We've had a causal talk over the bus. It's really weird at first but again there's a first time for everything.

Enough of this "gothic gal"(i think may use that nick for future referance); but there's a few wants in this year so far;

(1) Know more gals(uhhhhh)
(2)Learn japanese
(3) 2 GB thumbdrive
(4) A good job after graduation, looking for a 5000 pay, any idea where to get it?

That's about it.

I miss her....

2007-01-12T15:20:00.000+08:00

Let me get this straight, please read on, so that you guys won't misunderstand me. When I was on a holiday trip to China last april; I know 1 interesting tour guide.

She was very quiet when she's not at work, but when I begin to joke around with her, she's turns to be a very open person. She doesn't talk much though.

Soon, we talk like old friends, though we're almost 10 years of age gap, but we joked and talked almost everything under the hot sun.

I remember there's a joke that really made her laugh real hard and that is, "Ice cream taste good when you feel cold and it doesn't melt."

When we are about to leave China to go back to Singapore; i tell her i'll miss her. She almost cried, but i jokely said that i'm not her husband and she gave me a sian look. I also told her that when she eat ice cream, remember this friendship we have. lol

That's her with the red arrow.

All the best in your future endeavours! Take care. Till then, so long, my friend.

A stalker!

2007-01-11T17:14:00.000+08:00

It's a weird feeling to have a stalker following you; or appears to be. To understand this; I have to take you back 2 months ago.

When I took the bus to school, a gal stepped on my shoe with her high heel. She's from my school, since she wore the school uniform. She said sorry in mandrian so i smiled to her and said it's alright.

Then whenever i go, i see her. In sengkang, in school, even in vivocity! There's once in school she even smiled to me and go away.

Reminds me of a horror flick movie, but I'd say she's really attractive. lol She's reminds of someone whose dressing style a little gothic style, but she's really chio with it. And I don't mind make friend with her, since one of my resolution for this year is know more gals.... Oh, did I mention that I really love her smile too...

Nah, i'm not going after her if that's what you guys thought; but she's really chio, really young, guess she's either 17 or 18.

Later kids, and whine more about the death note movies.

Reflections.

2007-01-10T18:37:00.000+08:00

It's a funny feeling to backtrack. I realised I kept on making the same mistake like 8 times for about 2 years straight!

Then out of sudden, bang, it's all over.

Though I've no more feelings for that "TM gal"; but it's really sad she's living a life of denial. And I heard she's a Christian now. Man, what a waste! She's simply avoiding all of us; cecilia, me, wei jun, everyone! What's the point? Avoiding the issue never solve anything.

Life is like a RPG game; you need to level up your character(personality) in order to defeat bosses(problems) in life.

Jay Chou's songs has really grown alot on me. I think I'll support Zhou jie lun all the way. When I've got the money, I'll get the recent years albums' first. His biography on jay-chou.net also inspires me alot. He's so successful not only because he's talent, and he never gave up also.

No... I don't meant I won't give up on "TM gal" or "her" even, i know some idiot(sorry, I had to point that up) will bring that up again. But the direction of my future really takes heaps lot of faith to do it.

Lastly, jia you, Jay Chou, you have 1 more fan added to this world now!

Victory for yesterday night(7 jan 2007)

2007-01-08T01:33:00.000+08:00

I thought it was just another ordinary day for a typical Strikeforce practice day yesterday. But nooo! It's a day of victory for me.

After practice, someone(not mentioning names here) asked me to accompany with her to wait for someone else. "Though I've school tomorrow, but it won't kill me if I wait for 2-3 more hours, and besides I'll be going NS soon, so alright", I thought.

So we fellowship alittle and it's kinda interesting. Suddenly we talked about bgr. Just like that. She's like 4 years younger than me so I do kinda take her as though she's my sister..... Sometimes.

I advised her what to do and what not to do, according to the experiences I've encountered for about 3 years, but what really surpised me is she actually listens and thanked me after that.

I don't know, I think because I've seen far too many people backslide just because of bgr so it kinda hitted me real hard spiritual that I had to keep on sharing to everyone I know till I die or something(lol.)

But it's really a nice feeling to be appreciated... Something I don't get to experience from my own cg. It's really ironic, really. I find more love in a ministry than in my own cg.

But I thank God nonetheless, for He has placed me such a loving, impactful, colourful, interesting, and joyful ministry.

I also realised there's alot of levels of love. Though in my opinion there are about 4:

(1) Family love
(2) BGR love
(3) Friends love
(4) brotherly-sisterly love

I think real brotherly-sisterly love are really hard to find and i dunno about her, but I feel sometimes I had to just to tell her the mistakes she made and try to correct her...like a brother.

It's really really cool. Amazing feeling.

School tomorrow. Time to wish everyone happy new year tomorrow. lol

Encouraging!

2007-01-07T11:49:00.000+08:00

One of my 2oo7 resolutions is actually try to understand Islam more from Christian prespective and to bring 1 to 2 muslims to church and have them strongly rooted in the church.

It's really challenging for me cause I didn't really have any friends "won" under my belt, but somewhat I'm really confident but sometimes I fear of rejection until just now....

A friend O mine whom I known for many many years. 10-15 years? She's mixed blood, half chinese, half malay. So naturally, her religion is Islam. And she told me she went for Christmas service last week.

I was like, "wow!" In other words, God wants me to really bring muslims to church.

Amazing, I dunno how, but I wanna step out in faith and give it a try.

There's always first time for everything.

Dedication : Siong Guan

2007-01-06T13:37:00.000+08:00

Ah! This one is interesting. For some odd reason, we nicknamed him "boss" ever since day 1. It's pretty weird cause SF call Dr Boon "Boss" also.

This guy is pretty patient, almost no temper at all, but if you do, it's the end of the age. He can blow up like a volcano, kinda funny though cause you don't see that very too often. He's also a pretty caring person, and he talks in circles sometimes. I dunno whether he realised it or not, but he needs to backtrack alittle before going on to a next topic in a conversation.

(Kinda reminds me of a pc kena hang.)

Later kids!