The power of releasing

It has been a challenge for me to open up my feelings to someone, perhaps because I didn't "train" myself to do that when I was younger.

Emotion dead, I would say. ahaha. Sometimes I would just move on by serving without caring about my emotions system. Till I can't handle it anymore, then I will feel a little moody, troubled, annoyed, frustrated, disappointed & stuff. I "like" to keep things to myself. And sometimes it affects other people cause they knew I'm troubled and they didn't know what to do. I didn't believed in opening up to someone back then.

Things really moved fast for the past few days, so I hardly have any time to rest at all. And I'm not prepared at all. Then I fell into slight depression, wondering why I'm doing all this when the rest minding their own businesses when they can do a little bit more..

I didn't intent to tell anyone else this in detail actually. I don't see the point at first... until I can't take it anymore. The burdens are so heavy that I can feel the weight of it... daily. And it really bothered me so much that I doubt about my own abilities. I couldn't move on. Cause I was focusing on my strength, too disappointed, and I couldn't see and follow my leader's vision.

I was so wore out that I question myself, is it really worth it? Why am I going through all this right now? Am I at fault? I failed to see that God is stretching me to the max...until Shavonne rebuked, counseled & encouraged me to move on. I was reminded of Simon Peter in matt 14:28-32 again.

It's really amazing. I've been amazed by this verse for a few days now and it's now happening to me. God is indeed a interesting Person to be with.

But seriously, without Shavonne's listening ear, I might have give up altogether in ministry now. No words can express how grateful I am to her.